When Texting truly Becomes an Addition

There has been a lot of talk lately about texting. My twin brother has written about it here especially with regard to texting and driving. But what about texting per se?

I have always thought texting was almost always inferior to emailing or even actual conversation. However, I think people like it for at least several reasons:

• You are in control of the conversation. If you want to end it after the next response you just stop writing.
  
• There is a perceived guarantee that the message will be read, even if it isn't responded to. Everyone carries a phone or at least checks theirs every hour or every day. A missed text will always be read.
• There is a lack of intimacy. Excessive verbage is discouraged, messages are "just the facts" and there is little attempt to dig deep into what the other person is saying.
• I will admit, texts are ideal for such immediate and brief conversations as "I am now at home." or "I will see you at Baggage Claim 18B."

But what about addiction? What about texting during a child's formative years? I am afraid that in some extreme cases, texting can substitute for true conversation. The child will become bored with any conversation that lasts more than a couple of minutes, or contains more than one point. The use of "active listening" skills diminishes or evaporates completely. A simple not, or eye contact, or even just sitting close can become very uncomfortable for the kid.

I am talking about extreme cases. I believe I may have an extreme case in my own household. Our 12 year old daughter has an IPhone. She has begged for it for years and paid for part of it with her own money. Since she has consistently brough home good grades, keeps her room clean, and is basically just a good kid, we allowed her to get the phone.

After the 500 text per month limit proved to be too low, we went to an unlimited family talk plan for texting. The rules for her cell phone use, including texting, were simple: No use during school hours, no use after 9:30 on school nights. Also we reserve the right to see any or all texts, emails, phone contacts, etc.

Imagine my shock when I was reviewing our bill for this month and saw that she had texted almost 30,000 time in the last 28 days. Thirty-Thousand texts. I had to review it several times to believe it. I wouldn't have thought it possible to text 1000 times per day.

Her reaction when we confronted her: Tears. She had also been texting during school hours, and after 9:30. For this reason, even without the excessive texting, we had to enforce the rules and mete out judgement. She is not not allowed to text. Period. Until further notice.

She cried herself to sleep Thursday night. The more I think about her situation the more I am convinced we have just intervened in a destrictive addition. Thankfully, I believe this one is fairly easy to treat.

What do you think, is this crazy stuff or what?